A Rose, Letter and Cheery Pie
by Lark57
Summary: Yeah this is will's thoughts and it is a responce to the first challenge in His Dark Materials category. R+R please


A Rose, Letter and Cherry Pie

BY Lark57

A/N-This is a response to a creative challenge and because the window isn't open I can't remember who made the challenge. Sorry. 

Basic Disclaimers apply

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Will's POV

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There's always some reason to feel not good enough

And it's hard at the end of the day

I need some distraction or a beautiful release

This may seem strange but when I'm feeling an extream emotion I tend to cook. I'll cook anything which is probably how I ended up masaging dough for the crust of Mother's **cherry pie**. Never mind that she's asleep, that everyone is asleep because it's 1 'o clock in the mourning.

__

Memories seep from my veins

Let me be empty and weightless and maybe

I'll find some peace tonight

I can never sleep anymore. Not even with the help of pills and the secret stash of vodka I keep under my bed in a carboard box. Everytime I close my eyes I see hr face. I don't even have to say her name anymore, I always know who I'm thinking about because I'm always thinking about Lyra.

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In the arms of the Angel far away from here

From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear

There are these perfect moments though when I can just relax on my bed with Kirjava purring on my chest and I'll imagine that Lyra and I are still hiking up the mountain to that secluded place with the running creek.

I can fill her tounge massaging my upper lip, wiping off the last bit of juice from the fruit. Her warmth, her hair, everything around me seems so clear and fine cut.

__

You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent revelrie

You're in the arms of the Angel; may you find some comfort here

But then Lyra grows these glorious wings with gold and silver feathers, flies away and I wake up to a new day of torture.

__

So tired of the straight line, and everywhere you turn

There's vultures and thieves at your back

School. That is the only thing that saves me from throwing myself off a bridge, that and my mom. It gives me something to do to keep myself busy. 

__

The storm keeps on twisting, you keep on building the lies

That you make up for all that you lack

It don't make no difference, escaping one last time

It's easier to believe

At school all the girls want to know why I don't want to date them, they assume I'n gay, and the gay guys assume I'm straight because I won't go with them either. I just give in because it makes life easier when no one notices you.

__

In this sweet madness, oh this glorious sadness

That brings me to my knees

In the arms of the Angel far away from here

The only thing that keeps me in school is **Jordan**. A girl believe it or not. Nothing like Lyra, quite the opposite. She's sensitive, not weak or girly but not strong willed or stubburon like Lyra, more excepting and understanding. 

We talk like me and Lyra would have talked if we had had more time together, she's my confidante I guess. When I'm with her I feel torn. I feel attracted to her but I know that I love Lyra with all my heart and more. The question is, has our love past the level of physical? Would Lyra want me to live out my life like normal with a wife and kids because it would make me happy? Maybe I'll find out someday.

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From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear

You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent revelrie

Now I am back in m body, aware that my hands are cramped and tired from needing the pie crust. I can feel and taste the tears on my face. God I miss her so much but what's scarier is that now I have condemed myself to enternal lonliness.

"Lyra would not want you to be unhappy, Will," Kirjava said.

"I know but I don't have her words," I retorted.

"You don't need words, just love."

Right. Only love. Lyra would want what makes me happy, just because she loves me. I know it in my heart, but it will take time to realize completely.

That's why I'll write a letter to Jordan. Just because I need to have her understand and I know she will because she understands better than Lyra. Maybe someday I'll even tell Jordan about Lyra, who will always be the love of my life.

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In the arms of the Angel; may you find some comfort here

You're in the arms of the Angel; may you find some comfort here 

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Jordan's POV

It's late I know but I was watching the television and I just got carried away. All of the sudden I hear a knock at the door. When I answer no one is there.

"Stupid kids," I mutter despite the fact that I'm one myself. When I try to close the door a long white box gets in the way, "and what do we have here?"

After opening the box and squealing because there's a red rose inside I open the card and as I read tears spring to my face.

Jordan

I wrote because I have nothing to say. I know you;ll understand.

Will

Then of course I smile because I do understand. I do.


End file.
